I’ve always been afraid of asking questions, partly because religion told me it was wrong. Partly because I never wanted to make people feel like I was questioning something that they did and have that confrontation with them. Partly because deep down inside I thought that the people I would ask questions to would get mad at me and belittle me. If they did do that, of course, it would say more about them than it did about me. A secure person doesn’t lash out. In fact, they welcome questions because they are confident in their responses. Especially God, the one that already knows you have them, and the very same God that is awaiting with the answers. In fact, I think He is both the question and the answer.
The thing that never sat right with me was the garden story in the beginning of Genesis. Honestly, how can God know everything, be loving and kind, and go off and put a tree in a garden that Adam and Eve couldn’t eat knowing that they would be curious. All I saw was a taunting God, a withholding God, an insecure God. I knew in that moment it was a situation that I couldn’t ignore. Religion wouldn’t let me ask those questions but thank goodness the God that was there at the beginning, the God that made me, the God that knew I had questions, did not mind my questions.
This is what I found, Adam and Eve were God’s family. They lived in communion with Him. They spoke everyday. When the snake came, he told Eve something about God that Eve felt uncomfortable with because it seemed like God was withholding from her. She then went on to make the decision that she did. What should have happened here should have been Eve asking God why the serpent said what he said and should have asked all her questions to Him. We make space between us and other people, us and God, when we don’t ask these things, as you can see. What I believe now is that God did indeed want to share everything with them, at the right time. As an example, when you plant a seed, you see it through the process of becoming, until you can see that it has petals and all of its parts. You go at it in steps and at the perfect time that God set, not any sooner, not any slower. God is not withholding from us. That is not who He is. If only we would bring forth all the questions, we could find a God that never steps outside of love to do anything, a God that has perfect timing, and a God that keeps you in mind.
God, help us ask the right questions that will show us more of you. You are worthy of knowing, worthy of seeking, and worthy of trusting. Thank you for not being afraid of our questions. Thank you for being the answers. Thank you for taking the time to listen, to hear us, and to be with us as we live this life. Thank you for letting me be honest with you, truly, even when it doesn’t sounds good and being honest back. Thank you for not putting up a facade with us. Everything in truth. Here is everything. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Reference to Genesis 3.