“The One who sung the stars into the sky is the One who knows every day of my life.”
– Cageless Birds
What does it really mean to have someone hold memory and witness of every single moment of your life? At first it honestly just sounds creepy, weird or even uncomfortable. However, I’ve been sitting with that question for a while now, along with the feelings that accompany it. I’ve been learning to sit with being uncomfortable because most of the time, there is more behind that feeling than I thought there would be or could be. After being uncomfortable with God seeing me all the time, what I really found was a human that needed to be shown a different way of looking at things. Having God keeping memory of everything is actually exactly the kind of gift that a good God would give.
There are things that I do in my life that I am not proud of sometimes. I am just very human, along with everybody else. Some things I just simply don’t want to be seen. However, we believe in a God that is good and kind. It is so much like Him to take that feeling of not wanting to be seen because it can be uncomfortable, and turn it into something different, something better. The gift of being seen is that you won’t be forgotten by Him. He won’t forget the tears you cried in your closet, He won’t forget your deep belly laughter on a random Tuesday 3 years ago, and He surely won’t forget the times it cost you something to do the right thing. There are some other things He won’t forget. All of a sudden there was comfort for the things that I wanted to hide. That time you yelled a curse word because someone cut you in traffic, when you felt deep sadness and didn’t have the strength to get out of bed, when you talked about that certain person behind their back because they made you mad. Let me remind you again though, the gift of being seen is that you won’t be forgotten by Him. You should want Him to remember all those moments because for every single one He offers redemption, grace, a better way to do things, and wisdom for the foolish things too.
The gift of being seen is that you won’t be forgotten by Him. Your Father isn’t looking away from you when you mess up, in fact He is already in the mess waiting to help you clean it up. He is the the joy in your laughter, the breath in your lungs, and the keeper of all your tears. Being seen by Him is the greatest gift because you have someone who will witness it all with you and knows how to handle it all even when you can’t. I rejoice in the fact that He sees all of me, that He sees all of you, that He sees all of us. Fully known, fully loved, having a place for all of our moments to live. I rest in the knowing that He knows us and only His love can transform. We are miracles in process.
“The instruction of the Lord is perfect, renewing one’s life; the testimony of the Lord is trustworthy, making the inexperienced wise.“